My baby always clings on to me.

He always wants only me to carry him.

What to do?

This, I am sure is a MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION on your mind at the moment.

I can really understand the pain and helplessness that develops once your baby starts crying while losing your sight.

But, don’t worry as it is just a transitional phase which is actually moving you to the next phase.

Crying of a baby indicates the ‘separation anxiety’ that the child has developed due to the fear of losing sight of a mother.

It is a very positive sign that the baby has developed a positive attachment with you.

Most babies cry less after three months.

HELP ! MY BABY CRIES TO BE CARRIED ALL THE TIME

There are 5 major reasons to this:

1. Attention
2. Not yet used to solid food
3. Boredom
4. Fear
5. Separation

1. ATTENTION

Your child will cry for attention. He wants you to CARRY him.

DON’T keep kissing and hugging him several times through the day.

Problem:

Older babies cry because they want you to come to them and act pleased when you do. They squeal to show their pleasure at your nearness.

Crying is still your baby’s means of communication.

There is no one more important to him than you.

He wants to spend time with you.

Solution:

Don’t over pamper your child.

Don’t keep kissing and hugging him several times through the day.

He’ll get used to this.

2. NOT YET USED TO SOLID FOOD:

He hates his food, so he cries and wants you to carry him.

Change the food daily.

Problem:

He may not enjoy the taste of solid food as yet-he prefers his milk.

If he doesn’t get what he wants, he expects you to carry him.

Solution:

Change his food daily.

He is sure to like something.

If you make the same ‘khichidi’ or ‘vegetable rice’ every day, he’s sure to get terribly bored.

3. BOREDOM:

He gets bored with his toy and wants to run around and be naughty.

If you SHOUT, he wants you to carry him

Use multiple media to engage your child.

Problem:

His attention span is very less.

He gets bored very quickly.

Solution:

Use MULTIPLE MEDIA to engage your child.

If he’s bored with a toy after 10 mins, give him a book or give him some flash cards.

Don’t give a toy after a toy.

4. ANXIETY AND FEAR:

He gets scared of loud sounds.

DON’T carry him.

Problem:

He might be afraid of sounds and sights that didn’t bother him before.

The slamming of a door, the dark, sounds of fireworks on Diwali etc.

Solution:

Try and be somewhere around him, but don’t carry him.

Just hug and calm him.

If you carry him, he will expect you to do it the next time as well and he’ll get used to it.

5. SEPARATION ANXIETY:

Is it impossible for you to leave your baby with a maid, nanny or day-care?

She is scared you will leave her and go.

Get her used to new people.

Problem:

When your baby senses that you are going away she’ll start crying.

In the early months you held her close to you and she is used to the comfort and security of your body.

She may not want to let you out of her sight after seven or eight months.

This may be about the time you are planning to go to work and to introduce her to another caregiver.

Solution:

Take your baby out more often.

Parks, play grounds, walks etc.

Get him used to new people.

Call other children home for play dates.

Don’t worry if your baby cries while you are going away.

All you need to do is to compassionately hug her and make her understand that you would come back soon.

HERE ARE 8 VERY USEFUL TIPS:

1. PLAY PEEK- A – BOO:

• It’s a very healthy game which subtly teaches a child that it is absolutely fine if his mom is out of sight for a few seconds.
• Eventually he understands that every time you will come back.

2. BUILD A POSITIVE OBJECT PERFORMANCE IMAGE:

• You need to teach your child that things keep moving on perfectly even if mothers are not around.
• Rhymes, songs and stories could help you in a big way in preparing your child for these separations.

3. SAY BYE WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND A SMILE:

• Your baby remembers the last expression on your face till he gets you back.
• This is a very important thing, and sadly, a lot of MOTHERS MAKE A MISTAKE

Give a BROAD SMILE WITH A CALM FACE to your baby and he knows that all is well.

4. ENCOURAGE HER TO LIKE A TOY OR ANY OBJECT:

This is called ‘COMFORT TOY METHOD’.

• Most babies love to cling on to a toy or a soft toy and like to accompany them wherever they go.
• You can encourage your child to build up one such liking and can make sure to give over that toy to your kid while leaving.

5. DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT:

• This is the best tactic to follow.
• Just make sure your child gets involved with her caretaker in some play activity or something.
• This will make separation very easy and your child also learns quickly that there are other interesting things to do in her mom’s absence.

6. MINIMIZE SEPARATIONS:

• If your baby cries a lot and clings on to you, then it’s time to actually stay back with your child.
• You need to understand that every child is different.
• Just hang on for some more time and let your kid grow a bit more to accept it.

7. PAMPER YOUR KID:

• Pamper, but DON’T OVER PAMPER.
• It helps increase confidence and security.
• Please treat your baby like a baby.
• Pamper him, play with him, kiss him, hug him and make him feel loved and cared.
• But don’t keep doing this throughout the day.
• Draw the line somewhere.

8. FAMILIARIZE YOUR BABY WITH THE CARE TAKER FIRST:

• One fine day, don’t just leave your baby with a new person and expect him to be happy!
• Let your baby get comfortable.
• Give him some time to get familiar.