It is a heart-wrenching feeling when you yearn to be a mom and can’t conceive. The whole world sees you differently and is curious to know why you don’t have a baby yet. Before you get all worked up and frustrated, we’re here to remind you that sometimes it’s the simple things that are keeping you from conceiving. Check out the list below to see if you are doing everything right.
Peace of Mind
This is undoubtedly the biggest culprit ever. Feeling dominated, lost and incomplete can trigger the release of all the wrong hormones, which will send signals to your uterus that it is not probably the best time you carry another little being. Trust that you are worthy of love, not after you become a mom, but right now. Going through sonographies, vaginal exams, injections, medications and the questions of strangers is not an easy task – may be these are the ones lingering between you and your joy.
Just like physical problems, mental and emotional issues too need to be addressed. Talk your heart out to your husband and set up a peaceful, positive atmosphere. Enjoy the company of each other and focus on your lives. You will get pregnant and you won’t even notice how you did it!
Good intercourse is the basic foundation for babies to be made. You have to have a good understanding of the engineering of the reproductive organs to get an idea of what you might be doing wrong. Don’t be embarrassed to check with someone if you have any doubts.
Some common mistakes couples make are:
– Getting up and being active too fast after intercourse. Sperm needs time to travel all the way to the egg – they could probably use some rest. Laying down peacefully in each other’s arms for 15 minutes after sex can do wonders and give sperm time to travel without disturbance.
– In the name of cleanliness, some girls rush to the loo the very instant after intercourse, washing, wiping and peeing. This too is a big no-no. Let everything stay in place overnight or at least for half an hour. All those secretions are crucial to forming life and wiping them away can definitely reduce your chances of getting pregnant.
– Be comfortable with your partner. Newly married couples, with pressure from elders, try to get pregnant as soon as possible without getting really intimate with each other. Having sex like a chore will certainly affect your ability to get pregnant. Sex without proper foreplay, without being wholly aroused will be painful and will not make babies.
– In line with the above point, intercourse without intimacy and understanding will need the use of lubricants. Most lubricants, natural, store-bought and homemade slow down sperm (even oils like coconut or olive oil). Be open and enjoy with your partner, don’t force stuff. Have sex with no lubricants!
– Too many dry spells between sex can delay pregnancy. Dead sperms can build up if your partner hasn’t ejaculated for a week. So have sex frequently.
Keep tabs on your Health
If you were taking birth control pills for a long time or if your partner has been taking medications chronically, it can have an effect on your body and delay pregnancy. Consult with a doctor if the medicines you use are safe and fit for pregnancy. Habits like smoking, drinking and drugs can also interfere and dramatically induce risks for the baby. Steer clear from those.
Watch your weight and limit your caffeine intake as well. You could start taking folic acid with advice from your doctor to prepare for pregnancy. Both you and your partner should begin a journey of fitness and healthy habits to expect good outcomes.
Just having an understanding of your periods is all that you need, don’t fret or force yourself to exasperation over this. Your body releases an egg once in every 28 days (on an average). Sex in those days can help the egg and sperm meet. Let this happen naturally – have sex liberally over the course of your cycle, particularly in the second and third weeks. But don’t go overboard and be robotically regimented about it. Have sex not for a baby but for yourselves.
Your partner can follow a few tips to have super healthy sperm that will carry the best chances of fertilising your eggs.
– Shake off bad habits like tobacco, drinks and other recreational drugs.
– Get any significant health issues fixed.
– Keep tabs on weight if overweight.
– Take some key vitamin supplements to help keep up the production of sperm.
– Stay away from using hot saunas, hot baths and hot tubs. Heat kills sperm. Testicles are their best at 94 degrees Fahrenheit, a couple of degrees cooler than your body.- Avoid using laptops placed on thighs – this can heat up the production area and kill sperms too.
Sperms take a while to mature completely. Any changes your partner makes will need at least three months to reflect in the ejaculated specimen. Begin a loving life together laced with healthy choices to prepare for a little one.
Should You Worry?
Maybe you are worrying and stressing out at nothing. If you are around your prime to 30’s, try unprotected sex for a year. If you don’t get pregnant, consult your doctor. If you are older, try for six months before resorting to medical intervention. If you are super young and are just married, don’t freak out every month when you have your periods. Both of you need some time to get familiar with your quirks, fall in love with each other and create beautiful moments. Give it some time and believe.
Unnecessary anxiety, stress and panic will turn into a paradox and become self-fulfilling. If you keep thinking ‘I can’t be a mother. There’s something wrong with me’, you will unknowingly make that come true yourself. Instead believe in God, coincidence, luck or serendipity and have firm belief in yourself to open doors for a loving future ahead.
It took me years to understand that I was created a whole. I am complete all on my own and so are you. The piercing anticipation of having a baby might be keeping you wild, but show your emotions you are the boss. Set the thoughts aside, tell you dragons to go to sleep when they charge at you and focus on all the little joys of this moment. All the best to you!