Are you planning your second kid? Are you confused about whether you should be going for a second kid or not?
Don’t worry! All you need to do is to weigh the complete pros and cons before opting to have another child. The Indian societal system is pretty conservative when it comes to family planning.
What is solely a couple’s affair very soon becomes the interest of immediate family, extended family and friends. This makes it very frustrating at times and the couple just looks for opportunities to run away from such worries.
“What is appropriate for me might not be so for you.”
Often, conservative and fixed thought patterns, make it difficult for people to adjust to the current situations and demands of the time.
This leads to a full fledged conflict and despair, and a lot of times, the couple in question gets completely frustrated and confused.
In this post, you will learn the exact pros and cons of having a second baby that will help you take the right decision.
Planning a second kid? The complete Pros and Cons
The times have changes, the roles of moms and dads have expanded, the lives have turned complicated, the health concerns are plenty and one million dollar question hanging on the head is whether to go for second baby or not?
With your second child, the first child definitely gets company to play and be with. Later, as adults, the siblings can help each other at the time of need.
Feeling of wholeness
To a lot of people, having somebody to depend on and to share important moments bring feelings of wholeness. Though, the concept and perception is changing with time.
Taxing physically and mentally
Motherhood and fatherhood is a twenty four hours job with no breaks. The first child itself takes a lot of toll on the family life and in such situation planning one more could be very challenging.
The nursing, medical facilities, vaccination, schooling and cost of living over all has grown up tremendously. In such situation, it becomes extremely difficult to meet the expenses comfortably.
With time your parents are aging, your career needs more time and effort and your first child itself is a huge responsibility so accommodating one more could be actually very tiring and exhaustive.
In the earlier days, the concept of joint families was very supportive when it comes to kids. The grannies were a big help to take care of children while parents were away at work.
These days, the nuclear family system makes it extremely difficult for the couple to single handedly take charge of all the responsibilities. This makes it very difficult for the mother to take a decision of stepping out while the baby is small.
So, having another surely looks impossible in this case.
One delivery straight away makes you 20 kgs bulkier. Losing all the pregnancy weight is a Herculean task. Obesity and calcium deficiency due to pregnancy in women further invites many other problems.
These days around 70 percent of women decide to return to work after the maternity leave. This leaves them with very little opportunity to breast feed and as a result the women remain obese.
Also, a lot of care is needed after delivery which is again not available at times due to the pressing needs of life.
Injustice to the second child
Normally after the first child, the parents also get too frustrated and tired of handling kids all the time.
The second child often gets ignored and is brought up with a much relaxed approach. This brings out a stark difference in the personalities and outlooks of both the kids.
Returning to work
A lot of women wait for their first kid to grow up so that they can return to work soon. This already takes a gap of five to six years.
If now, a second child comes into the picture, then stepping out becomes impossible building in a lot of frustration and loneliness in the woman later.
Right to live
Planning a baby is most taxing on women than anyone else. The
Indian society is pretty narrow minded when it comes to enabling and empowering women to live their way.
After delivering the baby, a mother becomes the 24 hrs care taker of the child. Her world changes completely to such an extent that she even puts herself as secondary.
She forgets her parents, her family, her job and her own self in bringing up the new born. So, if she has to do it all by herself, the decision of having one or more babies should also be hers.
Very few elders understand and respect this point of view. By forcing a woman to have another child, they are only building up unwanted pressures that may take the shape of severe depression later.
In such a case, the woman will never be able to do justice to herself and her family.
So, it should be only and only you and your husband who should take this decision. Never let anyone else be a dominating factor in it.
Support from Friends and extended families
Often, one of the most important reasons for having another baby as is mentioned earlier is to have somebody to share your difficulties with.
In such emergencies, these days it is not possible for siblings in two different parts of the world to be available to each other’s help as and when needed.
People end up building support system in friends locally. So, anyways having a second child to support your first might not serve your purpose all the time.
Other options are available
A lot of people are considering adopting a second child, once the first is grown up. This brings them an opportunity to serve the mankind while giving a company to their first child.
People also are forming strong societal bondings and circles to provide the single kids with enough opportunities to be in the company of other kids.
So, there are other options to work around rather than planning a second child. Hope this was helpful. Anyway, to each their own and like I said, it is absolutely your decision to go ahead with whatever you choose to. The basic remains that make sure you have a healthy and a positive family life.