Parenting does not come with a set of do’s and don’ts. And every kid has a different behavioural pattern. You might be having three children already, but you might be surprised with the kind of things your 4th child does.
Children are like a plain canvas. It depends on how well you paint & fill all the colors, to make it look beautiful, despite the tiny mistakes you do in the process.
It is better to bind your children to you by a feeling of respect and by gentleness, than by fear.
Tip 1 # Time is definitely precious with your precious one:
Positive parenting is very important. This can be done by spending quality time with your kids. You have to connect with your child. We mostly notice only a single parent being responsible for a child’s discipline. It shouldn’t be the case.
Both you & your spouse should contribute equally in developing your child.
Since positive parenting is all about… not punishing, not shouting at or grounding your kid, you needn’t have to worry about giving your child “a Hitler image” of yourself .
Tip 2 # Set an example:
Children try to ape their parents & the people around them. If your kid sees you giving instructions to your maid in a harsh tone, or eating without washing your hands, sleeping on the couch with your shoes on,, he will think it’s acceptable to do all this, because Mommy & Daddy are doing it.
If you want your child to behave in a certain way, it’s important you behave in the same way too. You cannot get away with yelling & being rude, but expect your kid to be all calm & docile.
Like they say, “Practice before you preach“.
Tip 3 # They are kids & not criminals:
Don’t resort to punishments for every small mistake they do. They are still growing & learning. They do not know what is right & what is wrong. Punishing kids often, might make them rebellious.
Instead, explain things. Tell her why she can’t be running around, when you take her to the mall. Tell her why is it unsafe, to put her fingers in the plug points. Make them understand, in a friendly but stern voice, that they must not repeat the mistake.
When you say things like “No”, explain why you have said a “No”. When you say a “don’t do it”, tell her what she is supposed to be doing.
Tip 4 # Don’t become a kid yourself:
If you tripped over a set of toys which your kid, even after telling, has left on the floor, don’t lose your temper. Yes it’s definitely not easy to “not yell”, or “not get angry”. But remember, you are dealing with a kid here. Count till ten and then react.
This will help you cool down & you will know, exactly how to handle the situation.
Tip 5# Treat for a treat:
Everyone loves a little appreciation now & then. With kids, it’s very helpful if you appreciate them often. They will know that Mommy & Daddy are happy with their behaviour.
Acknowledge the slightest thing. Give them a cookie or a candy when they do something good. If you feel that giving a candy or a treat every time is not a good idea, then saying a “thank you”, “that’s like a good boy”, or “giving them a hug”, are also helpful.
But remember, not to bribe them. “I’ll buy you a Barbie doll if you stop crying”, will make her think ‘crying’ is going to get her anything she wants.
Make positive parenting fun for both you & your kid. Don’t teach them manners in a conventional way.
For example :
If another kid offered a cookie or a toy to play with, to your little one, instead of saying, “Yukta, Say Thank You to your friend Trisha”
You can instead try :
“Yukta, what’s the magical word we say when someone offers something to us?”
And when she says “Thank You Trisha“, you can appreciate by saying “There Trisha smiled, so the magic worked“.