Expert Talk: Positive Reinforcement for Your Child

When children put away their toys, parents usually reward the behaviour with an encouraging “You did a good job!”

Or if she finishes her homework she can get a treat.

These are examples of what is known as “POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT”.

Many child psychologists advocate the use of positive reinforcement as a tool to guide your child’s behaviour.

Appreciation plays a critical role in every child’s development.

It helps your child to grow and develop healthily without any fear of the consequences of misbehaving.

Screaming, spanking and annoyance would seldom fetch you the kind of results what a good positive behaviour would.

It is said, “Appreciation is the biggest motivator of all.”

In this post, you would come across some practical tips which would help you to boost the morale of your child by positive reinforcement.

Understanding the reason for your child’s behavior:

It is true that each child is different.

This is why it is important to first understand why a child is behaving in a certain way.

For example : It could be that the child misbehaves or throws a tantrum in a bid to get more attention. If this is the case then parents can give the child a positive and very encouraging response the next time he does something good. This might reduce the attention-craving tantrums and induce good behaviour.

How to teach your child using positive reinforcement:

You can teach your child using positive reinforcement by using innovative learning tools that he/she will be interested in.

You should then encourage him/her when they get answers right through positive responses.

Watch this video by Expert Psychologist: Dr. Niranjan Reddy

For example: Using flashcards is a good trick.

Show your child a flash card and ask him/her to identify the animal on it. If your child gets it right tell him/her what a good job he/she did.

This positive response will make your child more interested in learning.

Even if he/she gets it wrong, you can just turn the flashcard around and gently prompt the right answer from him.

You can also make it a fun game by linking all the objects in each flashcard to make a story.

How to use positive reinforcement:

Rewarding good behaviour is obviously not a new concept and many parents find that it is not as easy as it sounds because although children might have done something good once, they might not repeat it.

This is because children don’t always think as far ahead as adults do to understand reward and punishment.

They focus more on their current whims.

So how can you inculcate positive reinforcement to encourage good behaviour in your child?

1. Psychologists say that immediate reinforcement makes the connection even stronger.

So if you notice that your child is doing something good like sharing his toys or using the potty during toilet training, then you must immediately recognize and praise your child for it.

2. Give a Chance:

Another way is to give a chance for your child to be good.

For example you can ask your child to help you by putting his dirty dish in the kitchen and reward this behaviour with a nice big smile and a thank you.

3. Reward, don’t bribe:

Most parents resort to bribing as a necessary evil.

But if your child does something good then giving her a cookie is not a bad thing. Sometimes rewarding the child when she does a good deed even if it wasn’t promised with a cookie or a sticker, also helps encourage good behaviour.

4. Clap for your child:

Let your child know that his good behaviour or performance in learning something has not gone unnoticed. Clapping immediately boosts the morale of your child.

He or she would just love and crave this kind of appreciation. Your child will exhibit good behaviour just to get applauded and soon it will convert into a habit.

5. Praise Socially:

When you praise your child in front of his friends or in social get to gathers then it has a very positive effect on the mind of your child.

Your child will remember this praise and would try to inculcate and exhibit good things as a part of life.

6. Avoid negative statements:

Often in the hustle bustle of life each one of us often use phrases like ‘Leave me alone’, ‘go to hell’, ‘what the hell’, ‘I will complain about this to your dad’ etc.

Such phrases are only used to either run away from the situation or to create fear in the child.

Both these emotions are highly dangerous and should be absolutely avoided.

It is said, ‘once a mother, always a mother’. And, this sounds so true at this point of time.

7. Give examples:

Live examples of famous personalities would subtly tune in good traits in your kid.

You could choose any examples that you want your child to relate to.

Live examples could share anecdotes of bravery, kindness, softness, helping attitude etc. and such anecdotes frame the mental abilities of your child.

8. Start the day on a positive note:

Kids just need love and time from their parents. Mornings are indeed the best time to inculcate positive thinking in your child.

Greet your child lovingly saying ‘Good morning’. Make him recite his morning prayers. Teach him to exercise with you.

What should be avoided:

Accidental reinforcement can also occur and must be prevented.

If a child is throwing a tantrum, for example, because he has to stay at home instead of accompanying you to the store and you give in and let him come with you then this proves to the child that by throwing a tantrum he will be rewarded i.e., going to the store.

A firm no must be said to send a clear message to the child that tantrums won’t be entertained and accidental reinforcement should be prevented.

Conclusion:

Hope, this article was helpful.

These tips would fetch you amazing results.

Always, try to have a positive conversation with your child no matter what the situation is.

Children are quick learners and they learn new things much faster than we expect them to.

I hope, you would inculcate these suggestions to help your child grow better.

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