Having trouble disciplining your child?
As a parent, you need to follow 3 simple rules while disciplining your child.
STOP and ask yourself “What is my child doing and why is he/she doing that?”
OBSERVE and ask yourself “What can I do about it?”
LISTEN and ask yourself “Can I prevent it from repeating? If yes, then how?”
Put yourself in your child’s world and understand what is happening.
If you are able to understand your child’s reactions and behaviour towards different situations, you can effectively manage them.
‘Teaching a child to behave well is not a magic trick. It is a skill which ought to be taught.’
None of the kids ever knew how to behave well unless they were taught to do so.
It is a slow and steady process of gradually teaching a little one the social norms of acceptance.
In this post, you would come across some really helpful ways of grooming your child without ever having to raise your hand on your little one.
How to discipline your child?
Hitting or spanking could sometimes be really needed but it is always better to cool yourself down as a parent as it will only bring in a lot of guilt later.
Hitting your child might leave a scar on his mind which he may choose to grow up with.
It may develop into a fear, resentment or frustration later when he or she becomes an adult.
METHODS THAT USUALLY WORK:
- Don’t over-react to bad behavior but pay special attention to him when he behaves well. By recognizing and praising good behavior, you’ll encourage him to behave well more often.
- Let discipline suit the crime. If a cup of milk/his favourite juice is overturned intentionally- he has to clean up and fore go a refill. He doesn’t get any more.
- Let circumstances teach him. If he breaks a toy-don’t replace it immediately with a new one. Let him learn that his actions have consequences.
- Divert his attention. If he’s getting pleasure in stamping on your books, divert his attention to what the cat is doing.
- Remove your child from the scene of a crime in progress. Place him in a spot away from it for a while-hold him in your arms as you do some quiet activity.
- Explain the rules simply and clearly-“ no hitting, hitting hurts”
- Prevent situations from arising. Start by showing your child how to touch someone gently.
Don’t issue orders from far away. Go near him, look him in the eye and tell him to stop banging.
If he is about to do something dangerous, intervene and stop him from acting. Explain briefly why you’re stopping the activity.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that?”
Every parent has said this to his/her child.
We suggest that you first listen to what your child says rather than getting mad at him/her at first.
Being a good listener is very important for parents. It helps you understand your child’s actions better.
This is one of the most effective way to discipline your child.
For example, if your child is doing something naughty like throwing all his/her toys around, you could give choices and options to stop them from doing that.
You can say, “I know you want to play for some more time with your toys, but it’s time to put them away and read a book. Shall I help you pick a book or do you want to do it yourself?”
This is a very effect method of positive discipline.
3. Remove privileges from your list
If you chose to give privileges to your child on certain things like watching cartoons or by allowing him to head for a bath first or something like that, then you may consider holding them back for a while.
If your child misbehaves then you need to tell him that because his behavior is not appreciable which is why he will be devoid of certain privileges for a day or so.
He may throw certain tantrums by screaming or crying or trying to hit you but you need to remain firm for at least a few minutes.
If he is still cranky then you may have to mould yourself by giving up to the demand of the situation by letting him avail those privileges but with a warning this time.
A child loves and learns from appreciation.
Whenever your child behaves well just applaud him by clapping or by simply mentioning that you liked what he or she did.
This would help him to understand what is expected out of him.
A repetition of this appreciation till your child imbibes that particular trait in his behavior would also help.
5. Be a role model
This is something we often forget or ignore a lot of times.
You as a parent need to behave well at all the times because you are watched closely by your little one.
Every single thing you speak or do will be learnt by your child as he is learning by observing you.
You need to take care of this.
- Be polite in talking.
- Never use wrong demeaning words in your language.
- Always eat on time at the dining table.
- Make use of cutlery well to teach your kids do the same.
- Always walk and talk manner fully by giving due respect to other members of the family.
- Never raise or scream at any one in front of your child.
- Regulate your TV watching time as your kids will grow up to do the same.
- Eat healthy and avoid junk food as much as you can.
These habits will then automatically come in your child as his sub conscious mind is learning what it gets to see around all the time.
6. Give examples
You could easily teach your child certain things by giving him examples of kids around who your child plays with.
Live examples help your child to understand that every child behaves the way he is being told to.
The comparison should be done positively without attaching any negative adjective to your own child.
This is again a very strategy in making your child learn to behave socially.
Discipline is needed- beating and spanking are not necessarily beneficial, especially to toddlers. It will help if we remember certain basics:
- Be motivated by your love for your child. Dole out discipline with as much love as you do your hugs.
- Be neither harsh nor permissive.
- Use methods that suit your child, age and situation.
- Be consistent. If jumping on the bed is bad on Monday- let it be so every day of the week.
- Be persistent and patient. Be prepared to say ‘don’t touch that plug point,’ or ‘ don’t throw the food’ every day for weeks, if necessary Don’t give up or give in—give it time!
- Let your voice be modulated and firm.
- Be calm.
Set limits; your toddler needs them.
Let the rules be age appropriate and fair.
Don’t change the rules frequently—he will get confused.
There shouldn’t be too many limits.
Strike a happy balance between too many limits and no limits at all.
I hope these tips were helpful.
Most of these tips are also often recommended by a child psychologist or a counselor when approached.
Teaching kids to behave is a time taking process and you need to maintain patience in doing so.
Hitting or spanking is the worst thing to do to your child as it may not just harm him but may remain as a bitter memory which is even more dangerous.
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